Michael Starr - Steel Panther (18/02/2015)
Anyone reading this interview with Steel Panther front man Michael Starr presumably has some familiarity with the infamously dirty Glam Rock revivalists. For the uninitiated, here’s a lyrical snippet from their ball tearing 2014 studio release, All You Can Eat;
Three silver foxes started licking my ass,
So I twisted my nuts to keep from cumming too fast,
I had my fist in a butthole ‘til somebody said,
That ain’t no way to honour the dead.
“Dude, I’m not ashamed of (that song), I’m proud of it!," explains Starr.
“It taught me a lot. Now that I’m getting older, bro, some of the chicks aren’t that young anymore. I’m just getting myself prepped for the old folks home.”
That song is unsurprisingly titled Gangbang At The Old Folks Home, and is as hilariously offensive and rollickingly head-banging as the band’s ever-growing fan base has come to both expect and rejoice. Starr and his band are about to sate the needs of aforementioned fans on a global scale as they set off on a world for the next four months, including all stops on the mammoth Soundwave 2015 line up. It’s an epic journey that requires some serious physical stamina.
“I’ve been hiking through the Hollywood hills, and I went to the gym before. I’m just really getting myself fit and ready for our tour. Dude, if I don’t, like, do some endurance training, I can’t keep up with (bassist) Lexxi, or (Guitarist) Satchel. Those guys party, man. I art least gain… well, it depends on what kind of budget we have for our pizza backstage. If we have pizza backstage, I come back about ten pounds heavier. Why not, man? Free pizza and free fucking beer every night? I’m gonna fucking eat it and drink it!”
“That’s one thing that Satchel keeps preaching to me. He goes ‘Dude, no one likes a fat singer! Go do some sit ups!’, but chicks don’t mind a guy with a little chub around their waste. The guys that are all ripped up with abs usually don’t have good personalities.”
Delving in to the mind tucked inside the striking head that’s attached to Starr’s formidably fit body to get an idea of how the band comes up with their boundlessly crude lyrics quickly yields both some expectedly dirty results, and a powerful question any self-respecting metal fan out there should be asking themselves.
“Satchel is the brains behind the song writing machine. He’s got a really sick mind that I completely agree with. He comes in with these killer song ideas, which by the way usually come from past experiences we’ve had as a band, or shit that we’re talking about, or shit that happened on tour. Usually we’ll be talking about shit and something funny will come about, and we’re like ‘Dude, that’s a fucking song right there!’ Next day, he comes in with a song.”
“Why the fuck did David Lee Roth cut his hair? Can you tell me that? He looks like Sting’s Dad, for fuck sake. Dude, you could put a wig on! (SP drummer) Stix does it.”
With seemingly nothing taboo for the group, it’s interesting to find out if The Panther ever cooked up an idea so relentlessly offensive that even they couldn’t sing about it.
“We all write, we all have ideas we present to the band. I had this one song, and the lyrics were completely different. I played it for them, and they were ‘We love the music, but let’s just change the lyrics.’ So we all sat around, and Satchel goes ‘How about we write a song about handicapped chicks?’ So we ended up writing a song called Handicapped Slut. I didn’t know what to say! I was like ‘I don’t know if we can do this, man!’, and Satchel’s like ‘Don’t be a pussy, we’re fucking doing it!’”
“It was actually released in Japan. We can do that type of shit in Japan because they don’t understand what we’re saying.”
Standing on the influential shoulders of many 80’s hair metal giants, it’s worth asking whether or not Starr has heard the opinions of their music from any of their genre’s yesteryear peers.
“Normally people in this business don’t tell you that you suck to your face. It’s just a common brotherhood thing that you just don’t do. You do that behind closed doors with your mates, right? So I don’t know… I would hope that people dig it. I’m sure there’s some people who think it’s stupid, but I know this for a fact by just being on Twitter; some people hate us, some people love us, and there’s nobody in the middle. It’s a love-hate thing, man. I’m fine with that! I mean, I have fucked a lot of chicks that I hated just because they were hot.”
Australia bound in a week from writing, Steel Panther return down under with nothing but praise for the Australian people.
“Australia really has taken Steel Panther in, and it feels fucking great, man. In our home country, we’re not as popular as we are in Australia.”
A shame then, that there’s only 22 million Australians. If the country were as populated as The US, it’d certainly boost Mr. Starr’s cash flow…
“Dude, I don’t give a fuck. I will play anywhere. I am so grateful that we have success in Australia, and in Europe. It feels great, man. I mean, we have success in the states, but nothing like what we’re experiencing in other territories. America is really politically correct, plus there’s a bunch of dudes from the industry. It started from here, what we’re doing. The industry’s still all here, so there’s these guys going ‘Oh, this is old. This is done. Heavy Metal’s dead.’ That’s why we wrote Death To All But Metal. No dude, it’s not fuckin’ dead, and we’re gonna prove it. We’re proving it!”
“Playing Steel Panther has been, for me, in the early days trying to trying to… Death To All But Metal was the most fun song that we’d done that had a message, right? But all the other songs were serious, well I don’t want to say serious, but they weren’t what we were doing now. We couldn’t get a deal, but once we said ‘Fuck record labels, we’re going to do whatever the fuck we want’, that’s when we were able to have fun and incorporate the personalities we have off stage in to our music. It’s made us who we are today, and it’s great!”
The panther certainly are uncompromising in their image and musical content. A trait that dates way back past other bygone, era-defining genres.
“I remember when Nirvana came out, all my buddies that were in bands cut their hair, started wearing flannel shirts, and boots, and shit. I’m like ‘Fuck that! What are you doing? Fuckin’… WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!’ Not being themselves, and now they’ve ended up being in bands that were just a copy, ended up getting a record deal, and now they’re stuck doing that for the rest of their lives.”
“One thing I’d like to say to anyone who is in a band out there if you’re trying to make it, man. Just do what you wanna do, because if you don’t do what you wanna do, and you’re doing something you don’t want to do, if you have any success you’re going to be doing what you don’t want to do for the rest of your life. It’s like getting married and being stuck with an ugly bitch.”
As always, bands themselves are huge fans of other bands on a Soundwave line up, and can get just excited as the punters do getting to see their favourites rock out day after day. Michael Starr is no exception.
“Dude, you’re not going to believe this… first time I’ve ever said this; I… y’know, we wrote the song Death To All But Metal, and we bagged out Papa Roach. Straight up because they were doing that rap shit, and I’m like ‘Dude, that’s not METAL’, y’know? Fuckin’ spiking your hair up and wearing baggy pants, all that shit. Well, I just heard their new record, and it’s fuckin’ Rock! It’s fuckin’ Metal, and I’m like ‘Yeah’! I’m looking forward to see if they can play what they recorded, live. That’s what I wanna see.”
Papa Roach weren’t the only bands jokingly chucked under the bus in that song. Starr explains what type of backlash the lyrics generated.
“Ah, dude, think about it, man. What the fuck are The Goo Goo Dolls going to say to Michael Starr? And by the time we released that song, (Blink 182) were done anyway. You know what? To their credit, they actually used to come to our shows a lot in Hollywood. They totally take a joke. Which is killer. Dude, they know they’re a genre of music, and that’s the thing they do. It’s not metal, so we’re a heavy metal band that preaches heavy metal. You’re gonna get fuckin’ hit, there’s no way around it.”
Rest assured Steel Panther is in no danger of slowing down, and their mammoth touring schedule attests to that, both at Soundwave and beyond.
“I get to come back to LA for 36 hours (post-Australia), man. Repack my bag for the winter, and head over to London. I think we’re gonna go to Brazil and do some shows there. Really looking forward to that, we’ve never been to Brazil before. We’re going with Kiss and Judas Priest, and it’s going to be a blast! I hear the pussy in Brazil is pretty hot!”
Catch Steel Panther nationally on Soundwave this February/ March.
Todd Gingell
SOUNDWAVE 2015
SATURDAY 21 & SUNDAY 22 FEBRUARY - ADELAIDE
SATURDAY 21 & SUNDAY 22 FEBRUARY - MELBOURNE
SATURDAY 28 FEBRUARY & SUNDAY 1 MARCH - SYDNEY
SATURDAY 28 FEBRUARY & SUNDAY 1 MARCH – BRISBANE
Slash w/ Steel Panther
TUESDAY 24 FEBRUARY: SYDNEY, HORDERN PAVILION – Licensed All Ages
www.ticketek.com.au
THURSDAY 26 FEBRUARY: MELBOURNE, FESTIVAL HALL – Licensed and Unlicensed areas available.
www.ticketmaster.com.au
Three silver foxes started licking my ass,
So I twisted my nuts to keep from cumming too fast,
I had my fist in a butthole ‘til somebody said,
That ain’t no way to honour the dead.
“Dude, I’m not ashamed of (that song), I’m proud of it!," explains Starr.
“It taught me a lot. Now that I’m getting older, bro, some of the chicks aren’t that young anymore. I’m just getting myself prepped for the old folks home.”
That song is unsurprisingly titled Gangbang At The Old Folks Home, and is as hilariously offensive and rollickingly head-banging as the band’s ever-growing fan base has come to both expect and rejoice. Starr and his band are about to sate the needs of aforementioned fans on a global scale as they set off on a world for the next four months, including all stops on the mammoth Soundwave 2015 line up. It’s an epic journey that requires some serious physical stamina.
“I’ve been hiking through the Hollywood hills, and I went to the gym before. I’m just really getting myself fit and ready for our tour. Dude, if I don’t, like, do some endurance training, I can’t keep up with (bassist) Lexxi, or (Guitarist) Satchel. Those guys party, man. I art least gain… well, it depends on what kind of budget we have for our pizza backstage. If we have pizza backstage, I come back about ten pounds heavier. Why not, man? Free pizza and free fucking beer every night? I’m gonna fucking eat it and drink it!”
“That’s one thing that Satchel keeps preaching to me. He goes ‘Dude, no one likes a fat singer! Go do some sit ups!’, but chicks don’t mind a guy with a little chub around their waste. The guys that are all ripped up with abs usually don’t have good personalities.”
Delving in to the mind tucked inside the striking head that’s attached to Starr’s formidably fit body to get an idea of how the band comes up with their boundlessly crude lyrics quickly yields both some expectedly dirty results, and a powerful question any self-respecting metal fan out there should be asking themselves.
“Satchel is the brains behind the song writing machine. He’s got a really sick mind that I completely agree with. He comes in with these killer song ideas, which by the way usually come from past experiences we’ve had as a band, or shit that we’re talking about, or shit that happened on tour. Usually we’ll be talking about shit and something funny will come about, and we’re like ‘Dude, that’s a fucking song right there!’ Next day, he comes in with a song.”
“Why the fuck did David Lee Roth cut his hair? Can you tell me that? He looks like Sting’s Dad, for fuck sake. Dude, you could put a wig on! (SP drummer) Stix does it.”
With seemingly nothing taboo for the group, it’s interesting to find out if The Panther ever cooked up an idea so relentlessly offensive that even they couldn’t sing about it.
“We all write, we all have ideas we present to the band. I had this one song, and the lyrics were completely different. I played it for them, and they were ‘We love the music, but let’s just change the lyrics.’ So we all sat around, and Satchel goes ‘How about we write a song about handicapped chicks?’ So we ended up writing a song called Handicapped Slut. I didn’t know what to say! I was like ‘I don’t know if we can do this, man!’, and Satchel’s like ‘Don’t be a pussy, we’re fucking doing it!’”
“It was actually released in Japan. We can do that type of shit in Japan because they don’t understand what we’re saying.”
Standing on the influential shoulders of many 80’s hair metal giants, it’s worth asking whether or not Starr has heard the opinions of their music from any of their genre’s yesteryear peers.
“Normally people in this business don’t tell you that you suck to your face. It’s just a common brotherhood thing that you just don’t do. You do that behind closed doors with your mates, right? So I don’t know… I would hope that people dig it. I’m sure there’s some people who think it’s stupid, but I know this for a fact by just being on Twitter; some people hate us, some people love us, and there’s nobody in the middle. It’s a love-hate thing, man. I’m fine with that! I mean, I have fucked a lot of chicks that I hated just because they were hot.”
Australia bound in a week from writing, Steel Panther return down under with nothing but praise for the Australian people.
“Australia really has taken Steel Panther in, and it feels fucking great, man. In our home country, we’re not as popular as we are in Australia.”
A shame then, that there’s only 22 million Australians. If the country were as populated as The US, it’d certainly boost Mr. Starr’s cash flow…
“Dude, I don’t give a fuck. I will play anywhere. I am so grateful that we have success in Australia, and in Europe. It feels great, man. I mean, we have success in the states, but nothing like what we’re experiencing in other territories. America is really politically correct, plus there’s a bunch of dudes from the industry. It started from here, what we’re doing. The industry’s still all here, so there’s these guys going ‘Oh, this is old. This is done. Heavy Metal’s dead.’ That’s why we wrote Death To All But Metal. No dude, it’s not fuckin’ dead, and we’re gonna prove it. We’re proving it!”
“Playing Steel Panther has been, for me, in the early days trying to trying to… Death To All But Metal was the most fun song that we’d done that had a message, right? But all the other songs were serious, well I don’t want to say serious, but they weren’t what we were doing now. We couldn’t get a deal, but once we said ‘Fuck record labels, we’re going to do whatever the fuck we want’, that’s when we were able to have fun and incorporate the personalities we have off stage in to our music. It’s made us who we are today, and it’s great!”
The panther certainly are uncompromising in their image and musical content. A trait that dates way back past other bygone, era-defining genres.
“I remember when Nirvana came out, all my buddies that were in bands cut their hair, started wearing flannel shirts, and boots, and shit. I’m like ‘Fuck that! What are you doing? Fuckin’… WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!’ Not being themselves, and now they’ve ended up being in bands that were just a copy, ended up getting a record deal, and now they’re stuck doing that for the rest of their lives.”
“One thing I’d like to say to anyone who is in a band out there if you’re trying to make it, man. Just do what you wanna do, because if you don’t do what you wanna do, and you’re doing something you don’t want to do, if you have any success you’re going to be doing what you don’t want to do for the rest of your life. It’s like getting married and being stuck with an ugly bitch.”
As always, bands themselves are huge fans of other bands on a Soundwave line up, and can get just excited as the punters do getting to see their favourites rock out day after day. Michael Starr is no exception.
“Dude, you’re not going to believe this… first time I’ve ever said this; I… y’know, we wrote the song Death To All But Metal, and we bagged out Papa Roach. Straight up because they were doing that rap shit, and I’m like ‘Dude, that’s not METAL’, y’know? Fuckin’ spiking your hair up and wearing baggy pants, all that shit. Well, I just heard their new record, and it’s fuckin’ Rock! It’s fuckin’ Metal, and I’m like ‘Yeah’! I’m looking forward to see if they can play what they recorded, live. That’s what I wanna see.”
Papa Roach weren’t the only bands jokingly chucked under the bus in that song. Starr explains what type of backlash the lyrics generated.
“Ah, dude, think about it, man. What the fuck are The Goo Goo Dolls going to say to Michael Starr? And by the time we released that song, (Blink 182) were done anyway. You know what? To their credit, they actually used to come to our shows a lot in Hollywood. They totally take a joke. Which is killer. Dude, they know they’re a genre of music, and that’s the thing they do. It’s not metal, so we’re a heavy metal band that preaches heavy metal. You’re gonna get fuckin’ hit, there’s no way around it.”
Rest assured Steel Panther is in no danger of slowing down, and their mammoth touring schedule attests to that, both at Soundwave and beyond.
“I get to come back to LA for 36 hours (post-Australia), man. Repack my bag for the winter, and head over to London. I think we’re gonna go to Brazil and do some shows there. Really looking forward to that, we’ve never been to Brazil before. We’re going with Kiss and Judas Priest, and it’s going to be a blast! I hear the pussy in Brazil is pretty hot!”
Catch Steel Panther nationally on Soundwave this February/ March.
Todd Gingell
SOUNDWAVE 2015
SATURDAY 21 & SUNDAY 22 FEBRUARY - ADELAIDE
SATURDAY 21 & SUNDAY 22 FEBRUARY - MELBOURNE
SATURDAY 28 FEBRUARY & SUNDAY 1 MARCH - SYDNEY
SATURDAY 28 FEBRUARY & SUNDAY 1 MARCH – BRISBANE
Slash w/ Steel Panther
TUESDAY 24 FEBRUARY: SYDNEY, HORDERN PAVILION – Licensed All Ages
www.ticketek.com.au
THURSDAY 26 FEBRUARY: MELBOURNE, FESTIVAL HALL – Licensed and Unlicensed areas available.
www.ticketmaster.com.au